


On Shields, Mounts, and Obliviousness

by antigrav_vector



Series: CapIM bingo fills - 2015 [6]
Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Adventures (Comics), Marvel Adventures: Avengers
Genre: Cap_Ironman Bingo, Fluff, Gen, Obliviousness, So Married, all or the spoilers, and they don't even realise it, spoilers for issue 10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 18:38:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5795560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antigrav_vector/pseuds/antigrav_vector
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bingo fill for the prompt "canon: marvel adventures", this is set right after the end of issue 10, and follows the team as they head home. Lethal levels of obliviousness and fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Shields, Mounts, and Obliviousness

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'ed by the lovely morphia. :D

Tony watched as Mr. Whitman turned and disappeared into the motley crowd, not quite sure how he felt about the way the day had gone. For a start, he was starting to think in old English, and next thing he knew, he'd be saying 'forsooth'. The majority of him was still trying to make sense of what had happened, though.

Skeletal horses that could fly and floating goth ladies with purple hair who happened to be enchantresses powerful enough to create castles out of thin air were weird enough to have him questioning what the hell had been in his breakfast.

Steve's hand landing on his shoulder-plate jarred him out of his thoughts. "You alright, there, Shellhead?"

"Yeah," Tony put up his faceplate. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Good." Steve turned him away from the sight of the smouldering castle ruins on the distant hilltop and back toward the grassy hill they'd parked the jet on. "Maybe next time you won't accept a challenge without reading the fine print."

Tony gave him a Look. "How exactly were we supposed to get answers without accepting it? And it's not like the rest of you have armour that would withstand that kind of challenge."

"Tony," Steve said, throwing an exasperated glance skyward, "you accepted a challenge from _Morgan Le Fay_."

"And?"

Wolverine snorted, "and that was a dumbass plan, bub."

"Even Hulk know that," Hulk put in before starting to slowly shrink down into Bruce.

Tony rolled his eyes. "Fine, whatever. We established an hour ago that all of you are better read than I am. Can we let it drop now?"

Wolverine snorted. "Bub, you're only off the hook because Spidey and Giant Girl didn't even notice that they were being remote controlled."

"Come on, you can keep bickering on the jet. Let's go home," Steve commanded as he led the way onto the jet, settling himself in the pilots' seat.

Tony shook his head but followed and settled himself in the copilot's seat, next to Steve. Bruce and Logan exchanged looks, then shrugged and strapped themselves in.

The silence lasted a few miles, surprisingly. Tony suspected that was mostly because Bruce was wearing his VR helmet. Eventually, Wolverine spoke up. "Either of you gonna fill me in on what we missed? All we caught was Tony on the most bizarre horse I've ever seen, getting smacked out of the air by a guy with a laser lance."

Steve jumped in before Tony could find a way to formulate his reply. "Tony accepted Morgan Le Fay's challenge, the knucklehead, and had to joust against her champion. The prize if he won would have been Avalon, but if he came out the loser he'd have had to stay there forever."

Logan snorted derisively. "Then it was definitely a good thing Hulk and I destroyed her castle, and the broadcast thing she was using to control people."

"Hey, Steve," Tony saw his chance and took it, "how the hell d'you know so much about the rules of tournaments anyway?"

"I didn't," Steve replied. "Jarvis did."

Tony blinked. "That's who you were on the phone with?"

"He told me about the rule where the combatants need to be suitably equipped before they're allowed to fight. You really should give him a raise, after this, you know."

"You did that on a hunch," Tony accused him.

"What of it? If I hadn't, you'd have been stuck in Avalon until the end of time," Steve riposted, pointedly staring straight ahead as he flew the jet. They were less than ten minutes from the mansion, now.

Not paying attention to the face Logan was making, Tony stared at the side of Steve's head. "You called up Jarvis to do a play-by-play because you suspected the lady with the purple hair might try something like this," he said, incredulously. "You called Jarvis _just because_ you heard him say he was a medievalist, to ask him about this."

"So did you," Steve replied calmly, as though it was no big thing that he'd called Jarvis for mission critical data while Tony had been forced to kneel in front of the enchantress lady. With perfect timing, that was when they came up to the mansion, and Tony had to shut up while Steve landed the jet.

Peter and Janet had come out to the landing pad to greet them.

"What happened, guys," Janet wanted to know. "About half an hour ago our game just up and died, and when we looked around, all of you were out. Jarvis said something about Tony taking part in a jousting tournament?"

Well, Tony reflected, for a certain value of 'greet' that roughly equated to 'complain at'.

"He did," Steve grinned at him, "and he won."

Tony grinned back, appreciating the way Steve was covering his back. Logan grumbled something uncomplimentary, and stalked off into the mansion. "I need a beer. All this sugar's giving me a bellyache."

Peter rolled his eyes. "Well? You can't just leave us hanging like that."

Janet nodded. "Did you swoop in and save him, Cap?"

"Of course he did," Peter replied. "That's the way they work. Tony jumps in head first and Cap fishes him out. They're practically the Mom and Dad of the team."

Tony wasn't sure what to think of that remark so he ignored it. "Is Ororo back yet?"

"Nah," Janet answered him as Steve started herding them all back indoors, "but she should be soon."

"Who cares about that, though," Peter insisted, bouncing into the livingroom and flopping down on the sofa, "I want to know about this tournament. Come on, give us details."

"I'll second that," Janet put in.

"Alright, alright," Steve gave in with a shake of his head and a slight smirk. "Tony accepted a challenge from Morgan Le Fay," he paused just slightly for effect.

It didn't quite work out the way he'd intended, though. The others gasped and started yelling at Tony.

"What the hell were you thinking," Jan exclaimed.

"Seriously," Peter agreed. "Don't you know anything about pop culture?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "We've been over this about a hundred times. I went to school and majored in building battle suits. Not mythology."

"Hardly a myth, sir," Jarvis put in from his position near the door, "and there is plenty of historical evidence to bear this out. Dinner will be served in an hour."

"I get the point. Can we move on, now," he grumbled.

"Okay, fine. Go on, Cap," Peter encouraged, redirected back to the the story.

"Well," Steve went on, "I was pretty sure something was fishy; Tony was too, though he won't admit it. So, when the joust started, I had Tony transmit the feed back to the mansion and called up Jarvis."

Janet looked mystified. "Jarvis? Why?"

"Because," Jarvis responded as he conveniently happened to be passing by the door again, "I am something of a medievalist. And I was quite happy to put my hobby to work in this instance."

Tony suspected his butler was eavesdropping, but had more self-preservation instinct than temptation to point that out. He took up the tale himself, then, hoping to regain a little control. "Anyway. I was knocked off the magical skeleton horse and Morgan was about to put me in her little time bubble. Apparently she was using the tournaments and that game you were playing to gather people to work her castle for her."

"So how'd you get free," Janet asked, her expression rapt.

"I invoked a rule of tournament," Steve answered, "and demanded a re-fight. Jarvis told me that no knight was allowed to joust without a shield, and they hadn't given Tony one."

"Clever," Peter approved. "So what'd you do?"

Steve snorted. "Well it was obvious they weren't going to supply one, after that, so I let him borrow mine. Tony won the re-fight, and Morgan Le Fay left in a huff, after that."

Peter and Janet exchanged looks. After a moment, Janet shrugged. "Let me get this straight," she said. "You handed Tony your shield, which you practically sleep with what with how attached to it you are, in an attempt to get back Tony, who you are also rather possessive of."

Steve gave her a puzzled look. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Peter rolled his eyes. "Give it up, Jan," he said, hopping to his feet and heading for the kitchen, "they're hopeless. Let's go see what's for dinner."

"Sure," Janet replied, following him. "Maybe they'll figure it out eventually."

Tony shrugged when Steve tried to look at him for answers. "I have no idea."


End file.
